Alice Walker to Barack Obama

Dear Brother Obama,

You have no idea, really, of how profound this moment is for us. Us being the black people of the Southern United States. You think you know, because you are thoughtful, and you have studied our history. But seeing you deliver the torch so many others before you carried, year after year, decade after decade, century after century, only to be struck down before igniting the flame of justice and of law, is almost more than the heart can bear. And yet, this observation is not intended to burden you, for you are of a different time, and, indeed, because of all the relay runners before you, North America is a different place. It is really only to say: Well done. We knew, through all the generations, that you were with us, in us, the best of the spirit of Africa and of the Americas. Knowing this, that you would actually appear, someday, was part of our strength. Seeing you take your rightful place, based solely on your wisdom, stamina and character, is a balm for the weary warriors of hope, previously only sung about.

I would advise you to remember that you did not create the disaster that the world is experiencing, and you alone are not responsible for bringing the world back to balance. A primary responsibility that you do have, however, is to cultivate happiness in your own life. To make a schedule that permits sufficient time of rest and play with your gorgeous wife and lovely daughters. And so on. One gathers that your family is large. We are used to seeing men in the White House soon become juiceless and as white-haired as the building; we notice their wives and children looking strained and stressed. They soon have smiles so lacking in joy that they remind us of scissors. This is no way to lead. Nor does your family deserve this fate. One way of thinking about all this is: It is so bad now that there is no excuse not to relax. From your happy, relaxed state, you can model real success, which is all that so many people in the world really want. They may buy endless cars and houses and furs and gobble up all the attention and space they can manage, or barely manage, but this is because it is not yet clear to them that success is truly an inside job. That it is within the reach of almost everyone.

I would further advise you not to take on other people’s enemies. Most damage that others do to us is out of fear, humiliation and pain. Those feelings occur in all of us, not just in those of us who profess a certain religious or racial devotion. We must learn actually not to have enemies, but only confused adversaries who are ourselves in disguise. It is understood by all that you are commander in chief of the United States and are sworn to protect our beloved country; this we understand, completely. However, as my mother used to say, quoting a Bible with which I often fought, “hate the sin, but love the sinner.” There must be no more crushing of whole communities, no more torture, no more dehumanizing as a means of ruling a people’s spirit. This has already happened to people of color, poor people, women, children. We see where this leads, where it has led.

A good model of how to “work with the enemy” internally is presented by the Dalai Lama, in his endless caretaking of his soul as he confronts the Chinese government that invaded Tibet. Because, finally, it is the soul that must be preserved, if one is to remain a credible leader. All else might be lost; but when the soul dies, the connection to earth, to peoples, to animals, to rivers, to mountain ranges, purple and majestic, also dies. And your smile, with which we watch you do gracious battle with unjust characterizations, distortions and lies, is that expression of healthy self-worth, spirit and soul, that, kept happy and free and relaxed, can find an answering smile in all of us, lighting our way, and brightening the world.

We are the ones we have been waiting for.

In Peace and Joy,
Alice Walker

November 5, 2008

The power of forgiveness

Sometimes the hardest thing to say is “I’m sorry,” to admit that we have hurt someone. The only thing that can be harder is to forgive those who have hurt us. Most of us are familiar with the love chapter of the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13, where Paul defines true love:

* Love is patient.
* Love is kind.
* Love does not envy.
* Love is not easily angered.
* Love keeps no record of wrongs.

The reality is that we all need forgiveness, and we all must learn to forgive.
I grew up in a small Texas town that we moved to the day after my father’s funeral. We were poor, living in what some would call a “shack” on the edge of town. My amazing mother worked three jobs to support three children as well as my grandmother who lived with us. Her main job was working as a nurse in the hospital nursery where she took care of newborns.

As a child, I was frequently sick with colds, ear infections, and the flu. It seemed as if I was at the doctor’s office almost every week during the winter. We had no insurance and very little money, but we did have a family doctor who was a friend and colleague of my mother’s. In fact, they worked side-by-side each day at the one and only hospital in town. Knowing our financial circumstances, this doctor and his wife often asked my mom to babysit to earn extra money. Since they had five children, I was often recruited to go with her as a backup.

Over the years, this doctor often took care of our medical needs, charging us nothing. Little did I know the high price that I would have to pay. This doctor was my friend, a man I respected, and a man I trusted – until the day he molested me in his office. The hurt, pain, and betrayal were so great that I locked it away in some dark corner of my soul, refusing to admit it had ever happened. I told no one.

Uncovering the wounds

Fast forward 20 years when I was happily married to Dan Southerland, a pastor and my best friend, and had two wonderful children. Our church was exploding in growth. I had started traveling and speaking for women’s conferences and retreats, and loved it! Everything on the outside looked great, successful, and very right – but inside the past slowly ate away at my very being until one day, my world collapsed and I sank into a pit of clinical depression. I was paralyzed emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. The simple tasks seemed like impossible mountains to climb. Panic attacks became a daily event. I stepped out of ministry and out of life as I had known it.

I began to uncover the wounds I had so desperately tried to ignore most of my life. Instead of dealing with those wounds, I kept insanely busy in a vain attempt to earn God’s favor and the approval of others. My worth seemed to rest on the foundation of doing, instead of being. I soon discovered that one of the main reasons I had fallen into that pit was because I refused to face and deal with the pain of my past, but with the help of a loving husband, a Christian psychiatrist, and a brilliant family doctor, I began to make slow but steady progress in climbing out of that dark, slimy pit. Then, I remembered.

I remembered that day in the doctor’s office. I remembered it all, and when that awful memory slammed into my life, I fell apart. I hated that man. I wanted him to pay for what he had done to me. I wanted him to hurt like I had been hurt. I also knew that somehow I had to let go of my pain and forgive him or I would be trapped for the rest of my life. God and I began to work through every painful, horrifying moment of that memory.

Months passed, and the day came when Dan asked me to speak at all five worship services of our church. When I asked him what the topic was, he smiled and simply said, “Forgiveness.” I knew what God was up to, and being the mature and godly woman that I was, I became furious with Him. “That man does not deserve forgiveness, Lord” I ranted.

My Father whispered, “Neither do you, child.” But I was still angry. “Lord, he is the one that hurt me,” I cried. “I think it is only fair for me to wait for him to make the first move. And then he needs to come crawling on his hands and knees, begging for my forgiveness!”

The choice to forgive

In the silence, I heard the words of the Great Physician, a voice I have come to love so much, “Aren’t you glad I didn’t wait for you to come to me?” I suddenly realized I had a choice to make. I could hang on to my anger and bitterness, making that evil man my jailer, or I could choose to forgive him and set myself free!

But I just couldn’t forgive him on my own, so I did what David did. I cried out to God.

Psalm 40:1-3a (NIV) says, “I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit; out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.”

As I wrestled with the choice to forgive, I learned several life-changing truths:

* If we make the choice to forgive, God will supply the forgiveness.
* There should be no limit to our forgiveness because there is no limit to His.
* Forgiveness is not a feeling or an emotion. Forgiveness is a deliberate choice.
* Forgiveness is our greatest need, and God’s greatest gift.

For some reason, the holidays seem to intensify old wounds, resurrect old hurts, and magnify old longings. We must deal with old pain before we can truly live today and tomorrow. While we cannot change the past, we can change our response to the past and dictate the power it has over us.

If our greatest need had been information, God would have sent an educator. If our greatest need had been technology, God would have sent a scientist. But because our greatest need is forgiveness, God sent a Savior, Jesus Christ, who is calling us all to a higher place, a place of forgiveness. The choice is ours to make. Today, we can choose freedom by choosing to forgive.

by Mary Southerland

A Prayer to Christ

Christmas is often busy and stressful. This prayer by Anselm of Canterbury offers words to turn our hearts to our Savior and express our adoration and desire for Him.

Lord Jesus Christ,
my Redeemer, my Mercy, and my Salvation:
I praise you and give you thanks.
They are far beneath the goodness of your gifts,
which deserve a better return of love;
but although I requite so poorly
the sweet riches of your love
which I have longed to have,
yet my soul will pay its debt
by some sort of praise and thanks,
not as I know I ought, but as I can. . . .

The Art of Receiving

A friend is throwing a birthday party for me soon. I’m really looking forward to it–but I’m also a tad nervous. The spotlight will be on me. There will be cards, maybe gifts, and nice words said in my honor. My friends will probably gather around me and sing “Happy Birthday.” And I want to receive all that kindness and attention.

By “receive” I mean more than just saying “thank you.” Expressing gratitude is important. But receiving goes a step further and a whole lot deeper. My friends are celebrating me because they want me to know they love and value me. When I intentionally accept that affirmation, I let their sincere words and kindnesses penetrate my insecurities and challenge my negative self-perceptions. And that changes me. I act more out of who I really am in Christ and less out of my sense of inadequacy. But those good things can’t happen if I resort to my usual tendencies to discount compliments, change the subject, say, “Oh, you shouldn’t have!” or blush and flat out ignore the ways my friends intend to build me up.

The same is true with God. As a loving father, God constantly looks for ways to support, affirm, and encourage His children. His eyes “range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him” (2 Chron. 16.9). I wish I could say that receiving the words and gifts of encouragement God offers is easier for me than receiving affirmations from friends, but honestly, it’s not. I want to learn from Mary, who is my hero when it comes to receiving from God.

Mary was given tremendous affirmation. First, an angel announced that she was “highly favored” and chosen to become mother to the Son of God. Shortly after, her considerably older relative declared she was blessed among women and gushed over her with delight (see Lk. 1:26-45). If that had happened to me, I probably wouldn’t have believed any of it. Most likely, I’d have thought, I don’t deserve this! Surely God mistook me for someone else. But Mary didn’t do that. Apparently she believed the announcement that she was favored by God, despite whatever flaws she might have seen in herself. Listen to her response:

“My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me–holy is his name” (Lk. 1:46-49).

Always the ponderer (see Lk. 2:19,51), Mary surely meditated on God’s affirmations, then chose to believe them and depended on Him to make them real in her. In other words, she received. And I suspect she was a better mother because of it.

I may not have angels showing up on my doorstep, but when the Lord offers me encouragement–whether it’s through His Word, the kindness of His children, or the testimony of His Spirit witnessing to mine–I want to receive it. And I can do that like Mary did, by pondering on and appropriating these truths to myself and then praying a joyful response.

What gifts–tangible and intangible–is God giving you this Christmas? In what ways is He seeking to strengthen and encourage you? Whatever they are, I hope you’ll join me in learning from Mary by offering Him a prayer that receives deeply what He wants you to have.

by Cynthia Bezek, editor of Pray! Magazine

Our Greatest Need

If our greatest need was information;
God would have sent us an educator.
If our greatest need was technology;
He would have sent us a scientist.
If our greatest need was pleasure;
He would have sent us an entertainer.
If our greatest need was money;
God would have sent us an economist.
But our greatest need was forgiveness;
So God sent us a Saviour.

by Roy Lessin

Attitude by Charles Swindoll

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company … a church… a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude … I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you … we are in charge of our Attitudes.